Chelseagrin Home

We started this site a year ago to honour Heath and his performance in The Dark Knight. These are our reflections and thoughts on the last year.

Thanks to everyone for supporting our site!

- The CG Girls
July 7, 2008.

If we knew then, what we know now ...

The mantra of the ages. For me, this project will always be a bittersweet one. The blush and tinge of excitement at the beginning gave way to full-on love, and then crushing sadness. The summer of 2007, when this project was born was one of infinite possibility. It almost felt like an untouchable time - and maybe it was intended to be that way. CG was born out of our determination to show the world that Heath was going to be an amazing Joker – it turned into a lot more.

But rewind – back before that. Heath wedged himself into my psyche in the most subtle of ways. A little bit here and there and before I knew it, there he was, sitting around like the party guest you didn’t invite, but became fast friends with before the night was through. Heath had a quiet, shy way about him, which endeared him to me. His enthusiasm made me feel like I too, could do what I wanted, made me feel like life was for the taking, I just had to do it.

So I did. Or at least, am still trying to. I had hoped he’d be along on that journey – bouncing around, nervous as he began to direct, to paint, to play drums or piano or whatever he was interested in that week. I just wanted to see what he’d do next. He was that kind of guy. I wanted to take in what he had to offer. Obviously, that wasn’t part of the plan.

Back to 2007. I wish at times that I was forever on Franklin and Randolph. To put into words how that time felt, what it was, and what it meant, I just don’t think I can. All I can say is that I hope Heath enjoyed the wine, and wasn't too bothered by our enthusiasm, whether it was at 6am in the morning, or running across the street in harm's way. Or that I filled out a nurse’s uniform slightly better than he did. ;)

I'll never forget getting scolded by the Joker - a treasured memory, because in that moment, it was Mr. J looking out of that car, admonishing naughty girls who dared to cross against the light. I won’t forget sleepless nights, or gathering up and taking off work to do crazy things like be in a movie, or believing that if I wanted to, I could do whatever I had dreamed about as a child. All those things are the best part of life.

In the end, I just miss him. I hope he knows he was loved, respected, and that people supported him. I miss him in big and small ways every day. I like to think he’s still hanging around, in some way, cosmically or something. Wishful thinking, I know.

Sometimes when I cross Broome on the way to work, my head naturally tilts towards his apartment. I wonder if we would have crossed paths in the morning, bleary-eyed and confused, stranger smiles made. I sometimes wonder if he got coffee from the guy on the corner, crooked grin and long legs making people stare, not because he was a movie star, but simply because you couldn’t help but look at someone with such beauty and natural charisma.

Hey Heath? There are so many things to say, but I’ll keep it simple. Thanks. For all the things you never knew you did for me and other people, including my friends. You’ll always burn bright in my world.

- Alexis

Out here, the residual smoke from the wildfires hangs over the Valley like a toxic mist, leaving the softest patina of ash on all surfaces and tingeing the feeble sunlight with a wash of copper.

It's the sort of thing you might expect to experience in Gotham, I think, though the source of the smoke might been from a hundred little fires, or one big one, touched off by the schemings of a demented clown.

The thing is that, while the smoke will clear away eventually, and there will be clear skies again, the ravages left by the fires are permanent; even when you rebuild, the facade of your environment has changed, forever.

I think that, more than anything else, the Joker is transformative, elemental, the way nature's forces often are--frightening too, sometimes, as well as devastating. But such devastation is as much a part of the world, and the trajectory of life, as blue skies and fresh air.

Heath, and his Joker, cut a swathe through our lives like a scar, one which I think all of us here at Chelseagrin will bear the traces of, or at least the memory of, for a long time. However, he, or they, also brought us together, and I'd like to think that Heath (if not necessarily the Joker) would have been pleased to know what an inspiration he was to people, artistically, creatively, or otherwise.

- Branwen

Well, one year for Chelseagrin, eh?

Part of me can’t believe it’s been that long because I feel we’ve accomplished so much in that time. Still, another part of me feels it’s must be longer than a year because we’ve been waiting to see this film forever, haven’t we? And, now that the release date is getting closer, I’m jittery, excited and sad at the same time.

It’s hitting me that this is the last time I’ll ever feel this kind of excitement over the release of one of Heath’s movies, the last time I’ll ever watch previews over and over and find myself floored by his talent, and the last time I’ll watch one of his performances and then talk for hours about his massive amounts of talent.

Sadly this site we created has turned into a posthumous tribute for the man we love so dearly, but we started Chelseagrin to showcase Heath’s Joker because we wanted him to see how much we respect him. And how else would several Heath fans communicate their feelings but through their individual artistic expressions?

Heath inspired each of us in different ways and we continue to express this through writing, drawing, and even making significant changes in our lives. Heath is inspiration.

Thanks, Heath dude.

- Frumious Jabberspawn

I believe the most important thing that anyone can do who knew Heath or who loved Heath in any form or fashion, be it far or near is to tell the world just how special of a person he was. There are many who have spoken on the impact he had on the world of acting, art, and film and there is no need for my little words to repeat those truths. I guess what I really want to talk about is the impact that he had on me.

I first fell in love with Heath when I was about 14 years old and I saw 10 Things I Hate About You in the theatre and thus began a eight year or so love affair with him. It was up and down with him, some great movies, some not so great movies and lots of mixed emotions, the constant always being love and admiration. He inspired me to be creative in ways outside the box, sometimes crushing the box completely. It’s because of him that I am living where I am, doing what I do, and wishing like hell that he were here to be a part of it all, so I could thank him in some way for what he did for me.

I met Heath once, very briefly in Chicago last summer while he was filming The Dark Knight and now, it’s a moment I hold dear and will treasure forever. I would like to have said more but you never do in moments like that. I knew I would have another chance.

Fair weather fans have come and gone, hard core fans have stuck by his side and continue to do so even now and it’s a pleasure and an honor to be among such cool people, which of course brings me to this website.

The past year or so, working on Chelseagrin has been one of the most positive and fulfilling experiences of my life. The girls and I started this site in hopes that Heath and the rest of the cast and crew of The Dark Knight would see it and appreciate it for what it was, a tribute born out of love and respect and down right obsession with The Joker and Heath’s portrayal of him.

Ruth and Maggie’s amazing art, writing the blogs (ahem I mean Mr. J writing the blogs!), the comments and emails and words of encouragement we have received from all of you---it has been an amazing ride. I wish you all knew how meant it means to me, to us to have people notice the site and take an interest in it. We did it for the fans just as much as we did it for Heath and ourselves, it is yours too.

Truth be told, I hate that I even have to write this. This piece should be about the year in review and the joy of the past, the fun we had doing the site and the excitement of the future, of the film coming out and what’s next for Heath but no. Instead I write this as a tribute and I write it for all we accomplished and how grateful I am that we’re a part of the world that promotes and praises and adores Heath and his amazing work in the film. It’s a bittersweet feeling.

A part of me likes to think Heath did see our hard work and it made him smile. It brings me a small piece of comfort. I never got to tell him in person or in any other way so I’ll say it now as best as I can even though nothing I say will fill in the blanks or do my feelings justice.

Thank you Heath, for giving me the strength and the confidence to kick down my own doors and walk in places you once did and be a part of the world you loved and hated in equal parts. You were a human, flawed and beautiful; actor, father, lover and friend but I think my Granny said it best about you Heath----

“He was such a sweet boy.”

Thanks for everything.

- Phoenix Faith

What a difference a year makes.

In May of 2007 Bat-fandom was ablaze with debate over Heath Ledger’s casting as the Joker. Heath fans were elated, confident in their man, curious what he would bring to the role. Filming was to begin in Chicago that summer, and some girlfriends with a lot in common---love of Heath, Batman and creativity---launched chelseagrin.com as a way of expressing their excitement and following the making of the film. The summer of 2007 flew by in a flurry of adventure. We couldn’t WAIT for the film. 2008 was to be our year, to be Heath’s year.

Then that awful wintery afternoon Heath passed away.

Reading the unending, unbearable torrent of articles, one sentiment would without fail pop up here and there on a blog, among the grief-stricken posts: “He was just another self-destructive Hollywood pretty boy. We didn’t know him, weren’t close to him, why does it matter?”

The answer I believe is another question: Just how much value do you place in art? On the ability to move and delight and inspire further creation of art? And how much poorer are we, as a species, when a great giver of art and inspiration leaves us?

Is there any doubt that Heath fit into the category of great artists? Just search for Joker on any of the art forums, or check out the fan art threads on any Batman fan forum. It’s a torrent of love out there; most of the Joker characterizations are replicas of Heath’s. He reached out and held our thoughts captive, to escape only by explosions of purple, green and let’s not forget blood red paint.

Heath has inspired me ever since I became aware of him. He’s my muse. With Chelseagrin I found a group of people similarly inspired. The successes and sorrows of this last year have tested us together and found us to be solid collaborators, able to work as a unit towards a single goal. I have great faith in our future endeavors together and I have Heath to thank for that. He left us many gifts, really; one, his work in The Dark Knight, has us all salivating for the moment we call pull open the ribbon on July 18th.

I’ll be forever in awe of his talent and beauty. In my mind there will always be sadness at the thought of what might have been but because of him, alongside it is another gift---anticipation for the brightness of what lies ahead.

- Ruth

Me = Inconsistent and unfocused, always more of a soldier than a general. I had ideas but they roamed unsupervised without the right tools; a canvas, a Muse, an artistic framework. I needed like-minded people to inspire me to work harder.

You = An idea borne out of admiration for an actor and the role of a lifetime. Once the pieces were put together, work was starting to feel more like fun.

We = I had my words attached to something that mattered and it sparked the drive that I couldn't seem to muster on my own. After 1/22, the world we built was a place to go that wasn't cell phone logs and body bags. It was a refuge from refuse, a thing made for love and not for profit.

- Soho

This website and its creators/maintainers are in no way affiliated with Warner Brothers, DC Comics, Heath Ledger or anyone associated with the aforementioned.
Chelseagrin.com is a non profit venture created for entertainment purposes only.