Number One....with a bullet. Or Else.

Oh, friends. Dreadful news.

One of my girls shared this with me the other day, and I've been mulling over what to do in my head.

Now before you think I've gone a little soft, I knew exactly what to do with my little henchwoman who brought me the article. Never fear - she was properly taken care of. Her little red head is currently running in circles in the funhouse. Shame too, after she was let out for such good behavior before...


It's so amusing to watch her try to get out. But I think it's a lot more fun when you lock the exits, don't you?

Anyway, back to more important matters, this list. Something about being only #5?

Are they kidding me? Obviously, someone didn't get the memo.

Who are these people? I insist that they recount these shabby votes. I don't care what the list is for; it is insulting to be so low. Have they not been following my exploits? Do they not know of my sheer DEDICATION to my craft?

There is artistry, my friends, to what I do. And this is how I am repaid?

And who is above me? The Green Lantern? "Oooh, look at me, I was good and then bad and then good again." I'm shaking in my boots. Please. Green never looked as good as it does on me. He'll need to try harder. I'm keeping my eye on you, Hal.

You know who is behind this? Old Batty, I'm sure. He's so afraid of me, that he's resorted to all this pomp and circumstance, playing with the Internet to get my attention. Oh Batman, you really do care!

But he needs to know this is MY funhouse. No sourpusses allowed. Hmph. After all I've done for him, too. And he plants this silly thing, as if I wouldn't notice.

I'm sure my compatriot would be just as upset to be a paltry #5 on any list.

And speaking of my brother-in-arms... I see he's taken to playing me with such zest that he's stolen my socks!

Ah! What a sense of fashion! A man after my own heart! It goes a long way to assuage the pain of Batman's little ploy.

At least I beat that little bird. Seems that Batman really does love me more than his Robin.

Smile!

-J